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Welcome to another week! Keep in mind you can listen to this blog each week… and I tend to add more information on the fly as I am talking so if you care to listen you can click the link above.
Okay! So, our community took a few months off with the Self Love Summit workshops this summer and I was so happy to have it back in action this past Tuesday evening.
I feel so blessed to be part of this group each month. So often isolation can creep into your life and having your “peeps” to share and get inspired with is priceless.
This month’s topic, “The Questions You Ask Yourself Are Creating Your Life” was inspired by Debbie Ford’s book, The Right Questions.
Several years ago as I embarked on the personal growth journey that I am still trekking along today, a colleague recommended this book and I can honestly say it has been a game-changer.
I like to say the questions are profoundly powerful… and annoying. Now, why would I say that? Because they are incredibly simple AND your intuition knows the answer the second you answer them… whether you like it or not.
How many times has your 6th sense whispered in your ear only for you to ignore it and hit the easy button? Well, let me say there are no easy buttons if you really use these 10 questions to create the reality you say you really desire.
So that gets me to another question… are you really willing to do what it takes to get to the place you claim you want? If so that probably means saying no to the things you don’t want to do AND some of the things you DO want to do. I don’t want to jump ahead because one of the questions on short term gratification speaks to this… but this has been something I have pondered a lot over the past few months…especially this morning at 5 am when the alarm went off for spin class! And yes, one of the questions helped get me out of bed!
So before we dive into Debbie’s questions… I have another one of my own for you and it feeds off of several conversations I’ve had with people over the past few weeks. It was sparked by Reverend Mari Gabrielson from Unity Center of Milwaukee during a recent event we both led. She was responding to a participant’s comments with the question of, “What are you avoiding?”
I think this is a biggie. I know writing this blog was supposed to happen earlier today… but I vacuumed instead. I am the queen of staying busy sometimes to avoid what really needs to get done now.
So I ask you, what might you be avoiding? And how is that working for you? Maybe it’s a difficult conversation or something within yourself you know you want to shift.
I know for me personally when I avoid something, I get that pit in my stomach (another theme this week with clients!)… and it’s not fun. Pits in the stomach don’t feel good.
Because at the end of the day we all want to feel the way we want to feel. Happy, content, calm, grounded, confident, beautiful, powerful… the list goes on and on.
So in order to get to those feelings we must ask ourselves the difficult questions and shine a light on what we are avoiding and the mechanisms we use to practice the avoidance.
Speaking of choices, you make a lot of them every day. Hundreds probably if you counted. What to wear, what to eat, which way to work, how to respond to your boss, ways to handle conflict on your team, what to make for dinner, what show to watch, etc. etc.
The quality of your choices affects the quality of your tomorrows. Plain and simple. Choices affect everything from our how we feel waking up to how we feel going to bed.
Nancy Levin, a coach of mine, always says something equivalent to the fact that you are your best psychic or crystal ball… because your present-day choices create your future. I love that.
So right now as you read this or listen to this and your reality is not quite what you want, begin paying close attention to your choices starting today.
Debbie also talks about this idea of your inner flame. At a 1 it’s a small flicker… and at a 10 it’s a roaring fire. Your inner flame is where your soul and your spirit sit. For me, it’s that intangible part of myself that is the starting point for everything.
So what feeds your flame? And what diminishes it?
If you’re having a hard time with life, as we all do because let’s face it it’s life… make a list of what is diminishing your flame… and then do the opposite.
So if gossip, loud music, being a people pleaser, critical friends, jealousy, and trying to be perfect are draining your energy, instead do this:
Quit participating in gossip
Turn on the Spa Channel on Pandora
Set some healthy and loving boundaries with people
Step away from people who don’t respect you
Practice gratitude for what you do have
Quit trying to be perfect…because you never will be
Asking quality questions can lead you to quality choices which then my friend leads to a roaring inner flame and that ultimately allows you to start engaging in life and live your purpose. What’s your purpose? In my opinion, it’s being in the moment with whoever you are with or with whatever you are doing… and coming from a place of love and sharing your gifts. Simple, right? Yet how often do our monkey minds and life’s “stuff” create roadblocks to this bliss?
When you ask the right questions, your spirit and our higher self are begging for you to listen. Sometimes the answers come as whispers and sometimes as screams.
When we ask the wrong questions, such as “why does this always happen to me” or “why can’t I achieve XYZ?”….we remain stuck.
Coming from a place of “how can I get to XYZ” will propel you towards the reality you desire…and it all starts with those little choices each day.
Quality questions=Quality choices=Roaring fires=Feeling The Way You Want to Feel.
So I will leave you with Debbie’s questions. They have really been life-saving tools for me… and I hope they offer you comfort as well. At the end of the day, we all want to feel safe, secure, loved, understood and heard. If you are looking outside yourself to people or things to give these feelings to you, just remember when you give that power to someone or something outside yourself, you also are giving them/it the power to take it away.
The only route to feeling safe and secure is a one-way route and it is right smack dab inside of you. You have the power to feel in your bones that all IS well and all IS good… and I hope these questions help you create more of those feelings in your life.
Thank you, Debbie Ford, for writing this book. I know you have crossed the veil but your work here on earth continues to inspire and heal so many.
Question #1: “Will This Choice Propel Me Toward an Inspiring Future or Will It Keep Me Stuck in the Past?”
Question #2: “Will This Choice Bring Me Long-Term Fulfillment or Will It Bring Me Short-Term Gratification?”
Question #3: “Am I Standing in My Power or Am I Trying to Please Another?”
Question #4:“Am I Looking for What’s Right or Am I Looking for What’s Wrong?”
Question #5: “Will This Choice Add to My Life Force or Will It Rob Me of My Energy?”
Question #6: “Will I Use This Situation as a Catalyst to Grow and Evolve or Will I Use It to Beat Myself Up?”
Question #7: “Does This Choice Empower Me or Does It Disempower Me?”
Question #8: “Is This an Act of Self-Love or Is It an Act of Self-Sabotage?”
Question #9: “Is This an Act of Faith or Is It an Act of Fear?”
Question #10: “Am I Choosing from My Divinity or Am I Choosing from My Humanity?”
Debbie talks about writing a list of actions you would take if your higher self were in charge… so I invite you to do this today. If your “best” and most real self were driving the bus, how would you set up your day, what would you choose to do with your free time, what would you choose not to do? What a powerful way to approach each day… letting that higher part of you drive.
Thanks for being with me today!
P.S. I do Facebook “lives” after the monthly live event to share the same agenda, tips, tools, and stories. So if you aren’t in my private group, click here to join. You’ll have access to the “lives” and other inspiring goodies each week!
P.S.S. If you are in Milwaukee Tuesday, October 15th you don’t want to miss the Self Love Summit. Jenna Kashou, the author of “100 Things To Do In Milwaukee Before You Die” will be sharing her story and more about her book. Bring a friend!