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I woke up this past Sunday morning and the first thing I thought of when my eyes opened was “wow, what would it feel like to have a little munchkin bring me breakfast in bed.” That was something we did for my Mom… God bless her for eating whatever concoction we cooked up!
Next, I proceeded to hop on social media and realized for the next 12 hours I would see a steady stream of Mother’s Day messages, quotes, and pictures. After I put a loving post on Facebook for my Mom and sent several girlfriends messages wishing them a happy day, I sat there and frankly began to have a little bit of a pity party for little ol’ me. You see, I love kids. I wish I had kids… and on Mother’s Day, it’s a reminder of this certain “club” I’m not part of. Why is that? I suppose I could come up with a multitude of reasons… choices, not feeling worthy, or simply time slipping by too quickly. It’s interesting too how people try to help with comments such as “but you’re a mom to so many” or “you know it’s really a lot of work and not always fun” … and my personal favorite from someone who I am sure was well intentioned, “Meg, could it be that you want a child because you just are looking for someone else to take care of?” … isn’t that part of the drive to have children? To want to nurture and love and yes take care of them?
The thing is, Mother’s Day has been for several years a bit painful… but laying in bed on this specific sunny morning, I made the decision to say “enough!” AND TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT!
I realized I had a choice. I could sit and feel sorry for myself and question why I made the choices I made in my life OR I could snap out of my funk and use one of the million tools I write about and use with clients. So, I grabbed my journal and for the first time in a long time, I started putting my thoughts onto paper. It’s amazing this thing about swirling thoughts in your head… they are a lot more easy to deal with in black and white than ruminating and circulating in your head.
What I discovered after pouring out my thoughts was that not only am I ready to release the regret, but I’m even more so ready to embrace the idea that I already am a mother. I am a mother in so many ways to so many people and children in my life that my cup actually runneth over. The tears I’d been crying over not having my own child on Mother’s Day turned into tears of gratitude.
So here is where it got really fun… I thought to myself, “let’s say I was a mother to a child. What would I do right now?” Well, I’d probably get my butt up and out of bed and get going with the day…make breakfast…go for a walk with the dog…look for something fun to do where everything is seen through a new set of eyes. I decided instead of acting from a place of lack to instead embody being a mother and to see what might show up in terms of my outlook and perspective.
As humans, we tend to think that, “well, when I have the child or when I get married or when I get the new promotion or when I get the new car or when I lose the weight, then I’m going to feel happy.”
I think we have everything totally mixed up and in the reverse!
The only way to truly enjoy the end result of any of these goals is to relish and delight in the journey. Wouldn’t the destination be so much sweeter if our journey to it were filled with less stress and more joy?
So, I got up. Put on some music. Got into my workout clothes. Threw Birdie’s harness on and went for a walk. I then remembered a time in my life several years ago where I would start my walk every day with a set of rituals that were so uplifting. Rituals like “20 things I’m grateful for…and a ritual where I imagined this beautiful energy coming into my body and filling me up like a bright shining light… and yet another one where I would literally speak out loud (yes the neighbors probably thought I was losing it!) what my day was going to look like from that moment on until I went to sleep.
So, as I went through these rituals, I started to feel more grounded and connected to everyone and everything. And within three minutes of my walk, I crossed the street to the walking path where Birdie and I walk each day, and noticed all these people walking. Literally hundreds of people. It was clearly some sort of 5K or 10K walk. So, I asked someone and discovered it was the Mother’s Day walk… To celebrate mothers…how beautiful is that?
Now, if this would have been several years ago, I probably would have felt like a loser. Like a fish out of water. Like I didn’t belong. But today, instead, I jumped in. and I stepped into the energy of these hundreds of people walking. Grandmothers, mothers, babies in strollers, dogs, fathers. And I just stepped into it. And it felt so loving and so amazing to be walking amidst all of these happy and grateful people (who by the way may have had a pity party themselves earlier that morning… hey, none of us get EVERYTHING in this life, right?) And as I walked, I kept saying to myself, I am a mother. I’m a good mother. I’m a mother to so many.
As I walked, I realized I had been able to shift from my low vibe literally 30 minutes earlier to feeling so HAPPY simply by mothering myself. I think so often we look outside of ourselves for the answers and ways in which to feel good. Instead, all we have to do is go within and give ourselves some TLC by embodying what we really desire in our lives.
Why are you waiting until next week, next month or next year to be a mother?
Why are you waiting for Monday or the first of the month to start leading a healthy lifestyle?
Why are you waiting to take the course that will get you to the next level for the promotion?
Instead, start right now, this minute. Begin embodying what and who you want to be.
So, as I finished the walk, I found myself coming down to the finish line. They were handing out roses, bottles of water, and the energy was just so magical. I stopped with Birdie and thought, “oh, I’ve got to write a blog about this experience. From an hour ago feeling sad and sorry for myself to feeling completely elated.”
As I stopped walking, the first person I saw was a friend of mine. The minute I saw her, tears filled my eyes. I remembered this friend of mine lost her mother years ago… and here she was walking in honor of her. I was so steeped in my own sadness an hour earlier, I neglected to remember that I was LUCKY enough to have seen my Mom the night before… lucky enough to have spoken to her that morning.
I couldn’t believe the synchronicity as I hugged her. Keep in mind I haven’t seen this friend of mine for close to a year. I think it was just another reminder to always step into gratitude. When we choose appreciation for what we DO HAVE versus what we don’t, our energy lifts. When our energy lifts, we’re able to step boldly, courageously, and with inspiration into our full potential.
So remember the next time your own “themed pity party” begins… you do have the CHOICE to participate…or pivot a bit to get the full picture of the richness of the many layers of your beautiful life from the space of “THANK YOU.”