Do you ever wake up in the morning, grab your coffee, look out the window at the beautiful day ahead and then BAM! you are on the rumination wheel for some reason? It’s almost as though there’s an intruder within your mind hijacking your joy.
Why is that?
And more importantly… how do we move beyond it?
It happened to me recently. Suddenly an old “story” of an acquaintance came into my head. The things they did, they things they said… and the script in my head began to play “When I see them I am going to let them know I know exactly what they did, etc etc…..”
Before I knew it, my energy level dropped, my heart was beating faster, and I frankly was in a foul mood.
So what did I do to snap out of it?
I consulted two of my “go to” people for advice. These are individuals who instead of fueling the flame of conflict, instead have a way of grounding me in what I know is right and healthy for me personally. Ironically, they both came back with essentially the same answer which helped me release the negative feelings and the desire to be RIGHT.
I asked one of them to put into written word his advice for today’s gem….
“A colleague of mine whom I considered a great mentor taught me a valuable lesson early in my career which I have applied often in my life. I suffered the inevitable consequences of proving as a matter of principle that I was in the right in a situation that was not critical. He explained that being a person of principle was not the same as the need to be “right.” He stated that when I decided to do something on principle to be prepared for the negative consequences. He also was careful to clarify the difference between being a person of principle and steering clear of conflict that wasn’t necessary or beneficial. He explained that many times proving you are right did not bring about a positive experience. In general people do not like to be corrected. Even if it is clear that you are “right” they will likely feel the need to respond negatively. The result becomes a circle of negativity. The key that he taught me was that in most cases it was not necessary to react because it is likely the individual knows they are wrong and for whatever reason decided to act regardless. As long as the transgression is not a serious matter i.e. legal or moral, the negative energy created by the confrontation may not be worth the need to prove you are right.
The bottom line that I found in life is that we have choices. We are only in control of ourselves. I believe it is best to choose the high road every time it is possible. This does not necessarily mean that you are not being authentic it merely means that you choose to forgo the need to be “right” and negate the negative energy over something that is not critical… and instead focus your energy on the positive of which you have control.”
His words rang true for me. When we know ourselves and our own truth, no one can take that away. Everything else is simply noise. When we turn away from the desire to shout our truth from the rooftops with a pointed finger… that is where peace resides. That is where the feeling of coming home to ourselves lives.
So the next time we feel the need to “set someone straight”… remember along with that comes the price of our energy, the story expanding even more, and inevitably mounted frustration.
Hold on to the beauty of today, in the moment…. and never let anyone mess with your joy.