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“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.” ~ John Ruskin
I love walking in the rain. There is something magical about the entire experience. Maybe because it’s out of the norm to go for a stroll during a storm when the logical thing to do is retreat inside? Perhaps it’s the part of me that loves all things mystical. Who knows? All I know is I never really care to complain about the weather.
As human beings, the one thing we have in common is talking about the weather. I guess it’s a conversation filler or perhaps at a deeper level, cosmically and energetically, its something that connects all of us. Do I dare say it even provides a sense of community?
I used to live in the woods near Lake Michigan and found the most beautiful days were when the fog would roll in through the water, over the trees, and right into my home. One day I was on the phone with a neighbor who was complaining about, you guessed it, the weather! As I watched two deer fly through my backyard through the mist, I remember saying to her “but oh my gosh just look out your window… it’s like we are living in one of Jane Austen’s novels!” … There was an extended silence followed by, “oh Meg you’re so… funny,” I don’t think she agreed with my outlook 🙂
Now I realize many of you reading this are from my “neck of the woods” and this past winter was indeed long. I also believe the weather absolutely has an effect on some of our moods. I am simply offering tools that might help ease the suffering if you are like many of my friends who are ready to say “bye bye” to future winters.
Have you heard of Byron Katie? If not, check her out. She wrote a great book called Loving What Is. In it, she states there really are only three “businesses” in life:
- There’s your business.
- There’s everybody else’s business…
- And there’s God’s business.
Worrying about what other people think means you are up in THEIR business and those rainy, “yucky” days? Those are God’s business.
The only business you need to stay in…is your business.
Oh my gosh, this tool has helped me out so often. The time and energy that’s been saved when I stop worrying about this person and that person and what I might have said or done to upset them or what they may have said about me. Whenever I was “suffering” (in other words ruminating, worrying, stressing, etc. etc.) I tried using this one question and it actually worked! The question I asked was “whose business am I in right now?” Let me tell you, 99.9% of the time if I was “suffering,” I was without a doubt up in someone else’s business!
Staying in your own business means YOU get to decide how you are going to show up today. You get to create the reality you desire regardless of what others might say or do or what is going on in their “biz!”
Staying present within yourself is simply a choice… and within that choice lingers the possibility for serenity and freedom.
Last month I was dropping off some cushions for my Mom at the upholster and I love this woman. When you walk in her home, it’s just so inviting and warm. You literally want to sit down and have a little cup of tea with her. As we were walking out, she said to me, “isn’t this weather awful?”
Fortunately, a few weeks earlier I had built upon my initial choice of not complaining about the weather with another choice of not agreeing with others who did! I just don’t have it in me anymore to nod and agree about something that’s out of our control, and frankly is a beautiful part of our world. So, I looked at her and offered this:
“Why don’t you just pretend you’re in Ireland today? Or, if you head downtown, just imagine you’re driving down to London? If you were in either area, you’d probably be experiencing this type of weather…foggy, misty, and rainy. Put a fire in your fireplace, pour a cup of tea, put on one of your favorite wool sweaters and embrace it.”
“Huh. Well, that’s an interesting way to look at things… and you know, I’ve never been to Ireland. Okay, I’ll give it a try!”
Isn’t it more enjoyable to embrace rather than curse “what is” with creativity and fun?
As I left to head back downtown (oops! I mean London), I realized there is power in the lens in which we look at things. I could have walked out of her home agreeing, “yeah, this sucks. It’s awful. I can’t stand this weather.” Okay, how would that make me feel? Even as write and say these words, my energy drops.
Instead, make life an adventure today. This morning, I got up and looked out the window. Again, it’s foggy and rainy. I grabbed Birdie’s leash and as we walked outside I could feel the cold hit. So what did I do? I looked for ways I could embrace rather than hate the reality of the weather. As I stood on the corner waiting for the light to turn green I was breathing in that English seaside air and a neighbor of mine approached saying… “Isn’t this weather terrible?”
Oh boy, here we go again.
So I offered up my little trick and her response was “Hey, that’s not a bad idea. I kind of like that.” As she turned to wave she had a spring in her step and a smile on her face.
Where might you be looking through the lens of “lack” in your life besides the weather? What areas of your life are you embracing or complaining?
- Your job?
I fall into the “lack trap” as well. In fact, just a couple weeks ago, I found myself looking at another person’s life through the lens of “WOW. She’s got it ALL.” And I mean everything. Every box is checked. OMG. I love her. No, wait… I hate her. Just kidding.
It was like an out of body experience. I had totally stepped out of myself and instead of feeling grounded in gratitude for what I do have I was floundering about making up all these stories about myself through the space of lack. And you know what? That is not a fun place to exist. It’s unsteady and full of fear. In fact, to “go there” feels almost reckless.
When we step out of our body, out of our energy, and out of our minds (and into someone else’s) we run the risk of falling off our own path and purpose. When this happens, that’s what we call feeling stuck.
Getting up into other people’s business is saying to yourself and the universe “my life isn’t valuable enough.”
What’s the way out? Through awareness and discipline.
When I use the term discipline I use it to describe expressions of self-love. It’s respecting yourself enough to pull yourself back from the cliff of comparison and to reel yourself back to you… and this is where contentment lies. This is where inner peace exists. This is where love for ourselves and the ability to love others grows…and isn’t that what we’re all looking for?
Think about the last time you were stressed, worried or anxiety ridden. Were you in your own business or were you in God’s business or someone else’s?.
So, I challenge you today to pay attention to how you view yourself and your life. Is it through your own lens or someone else’s? Are you viewing it from a place of “not good enough’ or comparison to others? If so, I invite you to investigate that. Look at it with curiosity. Use it as an opportunity to step back into who you are. Because let’s face it…today as you read or listen to this, remember that the next 24 hours have never happened before nor will they ever occur again in the history of this universe. To me, that’s motivation enough to view it as a gift. Or in other words…why squander your precious time running around like a frantic person up in everyone else’s business?
Don’t worry about the weather. Don’t worry about so and so and who got the job and who has the “perfect” life (even if Instagram says otherwise.)
Step back into you. This is where all the possibilities for your life are marinating. Resist the urge to divert your attention from this pool of possibilities that lie within your heart, your soul and your mind. Step into you today and when all else fails, remember what a wise participant at one of my Self Love Summits stated with vigor, “You must own your own soul!”
So, my friend, in a nutshell, this is why I never complain about the weather.
I’ll see you next week,